My favorite section in this book is “Christian Marriage.” It goes hand in hand with his argument for morality (which is really solid and refreshing in our world today), and says that the reason why this is so important to observe is that “those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which are intended to go along with it and make up the total union” (105). This reminds me of Jeffry R. Holland’s talk “Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments.” It is not that God is just having a great time making rules for us and spoiling our fun, he is trying to show us that we are soiling something sacred that is meant only for the kind of commitment you have in marriage.
I have a lot more thoughts on “Christian Marriage,” but the most powerful part of it was establishing the difference between being in love and the kind of love that follows as a result of it. We have plenty of media propaganda telling us what love is—most of it the glorification of fornication, etc. but this seems to be a bit closer to the line. “Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing” (108). Really though, if we stayed “in love” for too long we would never get anything done. “Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go.” Lewis continues to say that “ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love is this second sense—love as distinct from ‘being in love’—is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God” (109). I have a good friend who once asked me what was more important to me, love or loyalty. When I responded two years ago I said love. My answer is much different now. Marriage is not just about being in love. It is about commitment—something I think society has seriously underplayed when the lovey-dovey wanes.
Moving on, I liked what Lewis said about Pride being the greatest sin, and how it comes “direct from Hell” since it is purely spiritual (125). “As long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you” (124).
In the section “Hope” I also found a few passages that really spoke to me. I’ve often related to the poem “The Name” by Don Marquis, particularly the line that says, “My heart has followed all my days something I cannot name.” This section seems to address that impetus. Lewis says that people know that they “want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise…some subjects that excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy” (135). Many people grow disappointed that they cannot satisfy that something in this life while others deal with it better. I think the take home message Lewis gives us is that “if I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world” (137).
Faith and works has been a common argument amongst Christian denominations. I think Lewis says it quite clearly when he says that asking which is more important is “like asking which blade in a pair of scissors is most necessary” (148).
There are many, many more lessons to take from this book, but I am going to end by summing up my thoughts on the section “Let’s Pretend.” Lewis says that when we are “not feeling particularly friendly” but realize that we should, the best thing to be done is just do it. Pretend for a little while, and sure enough, you might end up being a little friendly in the end. Such is the way we should try to be more Christian. Fake it until we make it. We won’t get to perfection in this life, but God does expect us to become perfect. It is easy, but it is also difficult. In a way we are like the house that George MacDonald mentions, thinking we are undergoing remodeling when really “He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of…a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself” (205).
As a final thought, Lewis’ last line. “Look at yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in” (227).
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I have a lot more thoughts on “Christian Marriage,” but the most powerful part of it was establishing the difference between being in love and the kind of love that follows as a result of it. We have plenty of media propaganda telling us what love is—most of it the glorification of fornication, etc. but this seems to be a bit closer to the line. “Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing” (108). Really though, if we stayed “in love” for too long we would never get anything done. “Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go.” Lewis continues to say that “ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love is this second sense—love as distinct from ‘being in love’—is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God” (109). I have a good friend who once asked me what was more important to me, love or loyalty. When I responded two years ago I said love. My answer is much different now. Marriage is not just about being in love. It is about commitment—something I think society has seriously underplayed when the lovey-dovey wanes.
Moving on, I liked what Lewis said about Pride being the greatest sin, and how it comes “direct from Hell” since it is purely spiritual (125). “As long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you” (124).
In the section “Hope” I also found a few passages that really spoke to me. I’ve often related to the poem “The Name” by Don Marquis, particularly the line that says, “My heart has followed all my days something I cannot name.” This section seems to address that impetus. Lewis says that people know that they “want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise…some subjects that excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy” (135). Many people grow disappointed that they cannot satisfy that something in this life while others deal with it better. I think the take home message Lewis gives us is that “if I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world” (137).
Faith and works has been a common argument amongst Christian denominations. I think Lewis says it quite clearly when he says that asking which is more important is “like asking which blade in a pair of scissors is most necessary” (148).
There are many, many more lessons to take from this book, but I am going to end by summing up my thoughts on the section “Let’s Pretend.” Lewis says that when we are “not feeling particularly friendly” but realize that we should, the best thing to be done is just do it. Pretend for a little while, and sure enough, you might end up being a little friendly in the end. Such is the way we should try to be more Christian. Fake it until we make it. We won’t get to perfection in this life, but God does expect us to become perfect. It is easy, but it is also difficult. In a way we are like the house that George MacDonald mentions, thinking we are undergoing remodeling when really “He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of…a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself” (205).
As a final thought, Lewis’ last line. “Look at yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in” (227).
View all my reviews
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